While reading the article titled, “Nonviolent Communication for Prison Officers” at http://www.cnvc.org/what-nvc/articles-writings/nvc-prison-officers/nonviolent-communication-prison-officers I realized that I have not examined my feelings behind my frustration nor have I communicated to my brother my fear for my financial future and the struggles I have faced to find a full time job. My focus has been on him working with his case worker and getting a job so I do not feel the pressure to send him money on a monthly basis.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Conflict Resolution
Reviewing the information on the Center for Non-Violence Communication web site has supported me in my approach to a long-standing conflict I have had with my brother who has been in and out of the penitentiary system for the last thirty years. Since my mom passed away in 2009 I am now the only family member he has left to count on for support, including financial support. I have been doing my best to send him money every month since my mom passed away. While I was working full time it really was not a financial burden. When my hours were cut in September 2011 to thirty hours per week I have been trying to convince my brother he needed to work with his case worker to get some kind of work in prison. He has all kinds of reasons for not getting a job, including all physical ailments caused from many accidents over the years. My typical telephone conversations with him are with a frustrated and defensive tone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Hi Patricia and thanks for sharing your personal example communication and conflict stuggle. I agree with you that in order to genuinely be effective in communicating with others, we must realize where we are in terms of the struggle. Sometimes the best way to be there for someone (even someone we love so much it hurts) is to take a step back and re-evaluate. Ultimatly, the one's we love are the one's we can be the most frusterated with. This in many situations is a testament to the amount of love we have. Take care of yourself and remember that your brother is a grown up who has had (it seems) plenty of time to formulate a game plan for himself. Keep on, keepin on!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. I never talk about my brother but I completely understand your situation. How ever my parents are still living and they do send money. I'm the only other sibling that will even communicate with him. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete